Whispers

The whispers in my head
grew teeth
they gnaw away
at me
Its easy, really
for their
words
already
left me
brittle
leaving so
little
room for me to argue.

Against myself
against the world
against what you
present me with
which my mind
will double and
twist
until all
I can hear
is white noise
drowning
all and every
meaning
until all
I'm left with
are wounds
never healing
that I
inflicted
myself.

Did
I
did
you
mean
to?

What did
you
mean
to say
what did I
fail to
understand?

What am I
heralding
when I
wear my mind
on my tongue
only to
cut it
before a single word
can escape
bleeding to death
not socially
but internally
left with
no
more
words.

What am I
predicting
when I
hold my breath
hold my tongue
when I'm
among your kind
not mine
never
mine
for I am
but an intruder
albeit a
tolerated one.

Where do I
lead myself
by
clamoring
howling
screaming
at the top of
breathless lungs
exhausted by
concealing
every scream.

I burn
I smolder
I am
fire
crackling
the unholy
sign
of a ravaging
bush fire

Good luck
stopping
me.

Please
stop
me.

Maze

If all I

ever get
is another hole
another empty space
left by people
I let get too close
then I’d
rather
never again
leave this maze
of walls
I built
between me and the world.

Sometimes I fear
I wont ever again
see the sunlight
for these walls
are too high
and sometimes
I fear
I wont ever be able
to build enough
to protect myself
from the world
and
to protect
the world
from myself.

Equinox

Equinox

Fluttery feelings

caught by steady hands
Warmth
where cold has been
Warmth
that mends
every little piece
together, for the
first time

Bubbly feelings
met by steady eyes
once, twice
eyes that never
look away
even if they do
a lot
A partner
in crime
where solitude
used to reign.
A partner
in crime
and in
mind.

Overboarding feelings
met with
overboarding feelings
illuminated by
smiling stars
worlds apart
yet right here, in your
arms.

May separation
come soon
for tonight
it shall not matter
your warmth-
your presence-
and in both our eyes
the moon.

(Das ist garantiert kein Gedicht zu einer fucking Fanfiction. Ich bin lost)