Bite my tongue

 If I only
could shut up
everything
would be better
I would matter
finally
I would
or so
I tell myself
to disctract me
from
reality

If only
I’d be quiet, cute
attentive
small

If only
I’d be
a wall
not required
to speak
not
able
to speak
just ordinarily
quietly
bleak

If only
I could
shut
the
fuck
up

Damn.